Get by with a little help from friends
The ongoing learning that is required for dating site success
Not sure if the Beatles had any clue at the time of writing the lyrics above how it could be applied to the massive world of online dating. No, i’m not talking about the FWB help that many of you may be thinking of. This is more about friends of the opposite sex giving advise on how to achieve a good outcome if you are using these platforms.
Having been on a couple of online dating sites for a few years, I am constantly reminded of my failure for success every night when I turn all the lights off in the house and tuck myself in to bed. Frustrating is the number one term I could use to describe my experiences over a period of time. It doesn’t mean that the people on there aren’t nice BUT it would be good to get to meet people, period.
Now I consider myself as relatively normal for my age. I enjoy nice wine, good food and great conversation. I don’t smoke, do drugs and only drink socially. Have all my own hair and teeth and consider myself to be in quite reasonable shape. However, it has been pointed out to me that I have one fatal flaw in my online profile, i’m wearing sunglasses.
I hate selfies. I don’t take them and rarely get photographed in general. So, I have resorted to using pictures that have been taken while out somewhere and I am wearing sunglasses. If I am looking at ladies profiles online, I couldn’t care less if they had glasses on or not. But i’m a guy and this is where the problem appears to be.
I have had the odd comment about them in the past but just brushed it off as more of an individual trait by those looking. However, the weight of evidence is stacking up against me. Now that I have had a few years of this under my belt, it may be time to listen to others.
This is where the friend comes in. Julia, that I have been chatting too online, but never actually met, keeps in semi regular contact with a quick hello or how are you doing. During one conversation about how frustrating I find online dating, she mentioned should lose the sunglasses. After a few exchanges, I suggested that if she had a better way of doing it, she should take the pictures for me that would stand out. Challenge accepted! Not only did she think this was a terrific idea but has jumped at the chance as she sees it as a way of helping someone fulfill their destiny.
Me, ‘lets meet for coffee and you can take a picture or two that you think will work’.
Julia, ‘No, let’s meet at a nice park and get some outdoor photos. I can bring a proper camera and wear a nice shirt, something with color in it as women like color’.
As the above exchange shows, there are two universes turning in completely opposite directions. Now to me, this sounds way over the top of what is required. But given the lack of luck i’m having and the old phrase about first impressions, I am willing to give it a go. If anything, I've learnt that my male orientated brain needs to see things very differently if their is a possibility of improvement.
And so my venture in to a new profile picture will take place shortly and get uploaded and put to the test. If nothing else, it shows that friends can come from many places and having an open dialogue may lead to new thinking. Being receptive to what these friends have to say is the key.
I will update you all in a future post. Wish me luck.
